Year: 2015

About Partnerships … thinking about enhancing care and support within them

gail louise Beyond Recovery to Healing, Learning to Hope, MajorDepression, On Support, Real Life; Real Challenges , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

46 years. That’s how long my husband and I have been married.  And it was 50 years ago when we first dated, a sweet memory today.  Jim has always been the very kindest, most fun and interesting man I know.  Our kindness toward one another is a key to our relationship, especially when the water wasn’t so smooth due to effects of mental illness on my thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

My partnership is our marriage.   It is the most supportive aspect of our lives together.  It is, it turns out, quite a bit stronger than mental illness.  Yours may be another partnership – marriage is not the required word, but supportive is.  How do we support our partner without being overwhelmed?  How can we be supported without having to feel we’re a burden?  I don’t have all the answers, but we do have some suggestions here based on our experience.

Resources on Suicide – and the way forward

gail louise Learning to Hope, More First Things, On Suicide, On Support, Shame , , , , ,

I’ve written a resource page on Suicide – Look on the menu bar, click Suicide and then Resources on Suicide.  There are links there for anyone who may be at risk for suicide or is a survivor of a suicide attempt.  I hope they can be of help for you.

Especially I want to draw attention to the link for the report The Way Forward: Pathways to hope, recovery and wellness with insights from lived experience (2014 pdf), by the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention’s Suicide Attempt Survivors Task force.   The report is unique in its breath and scope, and unique in that its co-leads were one, a survivor of suicide attempts and mental health advocate, and the other, a psychologist with years of experience working with people in suicidal crisis.

“For far too many years suicide prevention has not engaged the perspectives of those who have lived through suicidal experiences. Because of social stigma and fear, as well as personal shame, a culture of silence prevailed. The Way Forward represents a seminal moment in this field’s history; it is an opportunity to benefit from the lived experience of suicide attempt survivors. Many of its recommendations are derived from evidence-based practices, and several are aspirational. All are grounded in the evidence of recovery and resiliency that is clear in the lives of our Task Force members.”
– from the report.

Chronic Mental Illness: Recovery while (Still) Homeless?

gail louise Beyond Recovery to Healing, homelessness, Learning to Hope, Sam Tsemberis, PhD , , , , , ,

Did you know that among the large population we in the United States have of homeless people, approximately 30% are people with serious mental illness! Yes, at least 30%. Fifty percent, if you count those that also have substance abuse disorder. These homeless, along with those individuals with mental illness in prison and jails, are the forgotten of our world … even at times, forgotten by the advocates of mental health policy and care. They are out of view and out of mind.

Do we assume we can’t do much or shouldn’t do much for these forgotten?
Or do we realize we can end homelessness?

“Providing someone who is chronically homeless with a home first gives them the stability that they need to begin the process of recovery.” – Sam Tsemberis, Pathways to Housing

I couldn’t agree more … recovery is hard enough when you have a stable home!

One of the unique features of Pathways’ Housing First model is that participation in treatment or sobriety as a precondition is not required for housing. [More here]

To Tell or Not To Tell – Discussing self-disclosure

gail louise Real Life; Real Challenges , , , , , , ,

I’ve been reading summaries of research on stigma-busting that lay it on the line. Publishing facts about mental illness, as for example, how treatment helps people live successfully, does not assist in alleviating stigma. Highlighting the stories of people with mental illness who have achieved significant accomplishment, does not curb stigma either. What does work is for ordinary people to get to know ordinary people with mental illness personally! For stigma-busting and awareness and acceptance of mental illness to happen, individuals with mental illness need to be able to safely self-disclose or identify that they have received mental health treatment. Both peoples need to get acquainted and know each other. Nothing breaks down barriers like good communication. Acceptance and trust can be built up by direct experience of the other. But someone has to take the first step. Will it be you? Should it be?

I want to talk about the role of self-disclosure in advocating for people with mental illness. I am hoping to reach out to you especially if you have a mental illness yourself or are related to someone who lives with mental illness. [Continue reading the article under Real Life; Real Challenges]

From Shame – Moving Toward Healing

gail louise Beyond Recovery to Healing, Brene Brown, PhD, MajorDepression, Real Life; Real Challenges, Shame , , , , , , , ,

During the recent half decade I have been so fortunate, as Brene Brown* describes, to have completed the journey from the “not being good enough” shame struggle to believing and knowing “who I am is enough.” Shame from having mental illness has left me. Shame from being related to other people with mental illness has left me also. I have been graced.

I only recently realized I had made this journey. I understand now how much shame – and my growing resilience in the face of shame – had influenced the course and depth of my mental illness through the years.

It didn’t happen, this journey to being shame-free, automatically. I happened to want to do what is recommended for building shame resilience for other reasons; I wanted to help others cope with mental illness. Often, as part of my work, I told my story of family and personal mental illness. I didn’t realize then, twenty five years ago, how much nurturance I would receive from assisting others.  My story of the power of shame and how I arrived at healing from shame follows …. [Read the Full Article]

 

*   Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW   Audio lecture, 2012: Men, Women & Worthiness, The experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough.  Available on CD at Soundstrue.com  PO Box 8010/Boulder CO  80306.

What to do, “When Mental Illness Enters the Family”

gail louise Chronic/SeriousMental_Illness, Learning to Hope, Loyd Sederer, MD, On Support, These Illnesses , , , , ,

What do we do now, now that mental illness has entered our family?  Dr. Lloyd Sederer’s video “When Mental Illness Enters the Family”  is a Godsend. In this short, 15-minute video, Dr. Sederer addresses family members of people with mental illnesses and gives them clear and doable tips on how to live harmoniously (mostly) and wisely (usually) with the ill family member. His four main steps to cope with the effects of mental illness are right on target.  I can write this because of the lived experience I have had with two members of my family of origin. One person is still living, a sibling,  and  I work to understand better how to provide this person true support and health needs in an integrated manner without sacrificing my health in the process. The recommendations in “When mental illness enters the family” are a good beginning for people starting out on that road – Helping to care for someone with mental illness – as well as a good review for experienced family members.

Dr Sederer is a psychiatrist who is the medical director of the New York State Office of Mental Health –, i.e., Chief psychiatrist for the nation’s largest state mental health organization. He was the  medical director and executive vice president of Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital in Massachusetts. He is also the mental health editor and columnist for The Huffington Post.

I also heartily recommend readers who have a mental health condition and family members of people with a mental health problem explore NAMI’s (National Alliance on Mental Illness) website for all the valuable resources and information that are gathered there.

As I worked and volunteered for NAMI on the state and local level for many years (20) here in Wisconsin, I will post a resource article with thoughts about the NAMI website and programs soon.

Real Depression; Real Men: “Because you have to deal with it. It doesn’t just go away.”

gail louise MajorDepression, On Suicide, On Support, Real Life; Real Challenges, These Illnesses , , , , , , ,

This post’s title is taken from a video clip “Real Men, Real Depression” featuring Patrick McCathern, 1st Sergeant, US Air Force, Retired, and available here on The National Institute of Mental Health’s website.

Depression in Men often manifests itself differently. What ails men may not be recognized by them or their family or friends as depression. It may be mistaken as a sleeping problem or a digestive problem … or a character flaw. When a man has depression he has trouble with everyday life and loses interest in anything for weeks at a time.) He may be irritable, feel very tired, and lose interest in his work, family, or hobbies.

The tricky part of depression in men: They may not want to recognize, talk about, or acknowledge “it” or how they are feeling. (Please see my entry on Male Depression under These Illnesses in the menu section of my website for life experiences with my father’s depression.)

The quiet truth about depression is that it is very, very painful, and unending. And although women with depression more often attempt suicide, men are more likely to die by suicide.

HOW CAN I HELP A MAN WHO IS DEPRESSED? (Recommendations from The National Institute of Mental Health):

  • Offer him support, understanding and encouragement. Be patient.
  • Talk to him, but be sure to listen carefully.
  • Never ignore comments about suicide, and report them to his therapist or doctor.
  • Invite him out for walks, outings and other activities. If he says no, keep trying, but don’t push.
  • Encourage him to report any concerns about medications to his health care provider.
  • Ensure that he get to his doctor’s appointments.
  • Remind him that with time and treatment, the depression will lift.

MEN WITH DEPRESSION ARE AT RISK FOR SUICIDE. IF YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IN CRISIS GET HELP QUICKLY.

Call your doctor or 911 for emergency services.

Call the toll-free, 24-hour lifeline, National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)                  TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889

On Healing and the Caring Community

gail louise Beyond Recovery to Healing, Chronic/SeriousMental_Illness, homelessness, On Support, Rev Craig Rennebohm , , , , , , , , , , ,

Recently I have been re-searching the book, Souls in the Hands of a Tender God: Stories of the Search for Home and Healing on the Streets for more wisdom.

The book’s author is Rev. Craig Rennebohm, founder of the Mental Health Chaplaincy  in Seattle, WA. This UCC minister speaks of the illness experience and how healing can occur even with serious illness. He places the experience of illness in perspective with many other factors in life. He writes,”…. Our illness self, may predominate at any given moment, but is not absolute and does not determine finally who we are. An illness, no matter how grave, is but a part of our larger identity; our wholeness as persons encompass the moment of illness and far more.”

I first heard him speak at the 2013 NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) annual convention held in Seattle that year. I learned although there is no cure for mental illness but there is recovery for many, that I am experiencing healing “…within a larger frame of personal growth and caring community” as the next stage in my recovery.  Continue Reading more on his profound message.

Stubborn Hope

gail louise Beyond Recovery to Healing, Chronic/SeriousMental_Illness, Learning to Hope, On Support, Stubborn Hope , , , , , , ,

Endurance is a passive quality,
transforms nothing, contests nothing,
can change no state to something better
and is worthy of no high esteem;
and so it seems to me my own
     persistence
deserves, if not contempt, impatience.

Yet somewhere lingers the stubborn hope
thus to endure can be a kind of fight,
preserve some value, assert some faith
and even have a kind of worth.

—Dennis Brutus, former prisoner of conscience, South Africa
From Stubborn Hope, c1978 Heinemann Educational Books, Inc., Portsmouth, NH.

I have two sets of tools to use in managing my illness. One set consists of the familiar: support of friends, family, the members of my support group, my psychiatrist, plus therapy, medication, rest, exercise, use of behavioral and cognitive techniques and calm, quiet settings.

The second set is much more personal. These “tools” are experiences in my life that provide comfort when treatment isn’t effective. I list them on a set of index cards that are always ready at hand. When I’m having trouble with obsessive negative thoughts, despair, and grinding hopelessness I read through the cards individually, with care and consideration. Most cards list a single word:

“Music,” stirring music.

“Humor.” I cannot generate humor, but at some level it reaches me.

“Beauty.” Something beautiful must be near at hand. Usually it is light falling on my favorite glass vase, an illustration, or a textured fabric. My eyes and mind are soothed. Vibrant colors stop ruminating thoughts and bring peace, a dramatic although brief period of relief.

“Favorite books.” They are important as reminders of the admiration I have for the author’s intellect and talent. Virtuosity stimulates my constricted mind.

The last index card, however, cuts to the quick; sometimes there is no comfort. This card reads, “And some times, only endurance.” Years ago I wrote that phrase with a bitter heart. But since then, I have come to agree with Dennis Brutus. Endurance has value and relies on faith, albeit unrecognized by me. It reflects a stubborn hope, for tomorrow and the tomorrows to follow.

Greetings to you and to those you love and support.

On Healing…Learning to Hope despite Chronic Mental Illness

gail louise Chronic/SeriousMental_Illness, Learning to Hope , , , , , ,

Do you or someone you love have a chronic illness? The illness and the very real struggle to stand with the person suffering from the illness can be awfully hard to bear. What’s it like for you? I have written about my chronic illness experience. Go visit the menu option On Healing and scroll down. You’ll find my essay: Learning to Hope Despite Chronic Mental Illness. Learning to hope again and learning to believe that life will again have genuine promise were sweet rewards of my patient examination of what life had been and what life could be. I started with one small but tangible bit of “up” time. The time occurred “before my very eyes” as it were. It was what I most hoped for, so I built nurturing memories on it.  I hope yours will be also.

Please read on………………………….