Stigma

Communities in Action to Prevent Suicide, part IV

gail louise Communities Preventing Suicide, Learning to Hope, On Support, Shame , , , ,

Dr. Whiteside, concluding her keynote address to the Communities in Action to Prevent Suicide conference, April 2015, asked us to visit the websites below for a look at what suicide attempt survivors have to say for themselves.  Their words offer important insights.

www.livethroughthis.org is a wonderful and compelling collection of portraits each linked to a suicide attempt survivor story, as told by those survivors. LiveThroughThis shows through these remarkable stories that everyone is susceptible to depression and suicidal thoughts. It does this simply by showing portraits and stories of attempt survivors — profoundly sharing that they are people no different than you or I.

As the website’s author Dese’Rae L. Stage writes, “…these feelings could affect your mom, your partner, or your brother, and the fear of talking about it can be a killer.”

The second website attemptsurvivors.com  is a now-completed project of the American Association of Suicidology. This site also features attempt survivors who have spoken up and told their stories. This website’s editor taught me a valuable lesson also. She wrote that people continually ask survivors about suicidal thoughts and actions, saying “Why would you want to do that to yourself?” As she noted, this question represents a shocking and a fundamental misunderstanding. You see, as when inquiring about any potentially fatal health issue the question needs only be, “Why is this happening to people we love?”

Do you see the stark difference between these two questions? The first, intentionally or not, is accusatory and focuses on blaming the suicidal person. The second question reflects concern for the person and asks why it is that this has happened to this individual, without seeing the act as a personal fault — and in truth, suicide is usually the result of a mental illness process.

Thank you for reading and for hearing and listening to them.

Communities in Action to Prevent Suicide, part III

gail louise Communities Preventing Suicide, MajorDepression, On Suicide, On Support , , ,

A core value, again taken from The Way Forward, that Ursula Whiteside highlighted during her keynote:

Preserve dignity and counter negative stereotypes, shame, and discrimination

“The negative perceptions of behavioral health issues and subsequent discrimination pose major barriers to help-seeking.” …. “Stigma, negative stereotypes, and discrimination (covert or subtle) are particularly damaging when we already suffer from depression, hopelessness, damaged self-image, trauma, self-doubt, and shame – thoughts and feelings common during a suicidal crisis. In contrast, when we are treated with dignity and compassion, it reaffirms our sense of worth and value.”

My second psychiatrist (and each of those who followed) treated me with the dignity and compassion I needed to progress. It made a HUGE difference. One appointment I’ll never forget is the day I thanked him for NOT telling me ‘my difficulties’ were that I was ‘too sensitive’ (as I had been told by my first psychiatrist) . My doctor got very still, sat up straight, looked me in the eye, and said, “Gail, it’s not that you are too sensitive. You have major depression. It is an illness for which we will pursue and persist in finding the right treatment combination for you.”

He treated me with full dignity by clearing up any chance that I would misunderstand ‘sensitivity’ for major depression. Or think that ‘my difficulties’ were only that, ‘difficulties,’ and that they were something I caused. I felt affirmed and clear about the real lesson I was learning.

I particularly like this core value because it is so active…….counter stigma.

You can see from the photographs that Dr. Whiteside – Ursula – is younger than I. Her experience and youth were very helpful as I gained insight on how to reach to a younger public than I am used to addressing. She does social media very well; I need to go there too. The mid-part of her keynote presented her vision developing www.NowMattersNow.org into an online public resource focusing on strategies for managing suicidal thoughts and intense emotions. Ursula introduced us to her colleagues: Team Now Matters Now. I smiled with pleasure as one of the team members mentioned was Marsha Linehan, PhD, clinical psychologist. Nothing more was said about team member Marsha … But it’s worth noting that Dr. Linehan is the creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, the psychotherapy that has helped so many people with borderline personality disorder. She is well known and admired for her work.

DrUrsulaWhiteside    DrMarshaLinehan

Ursula summarized what she and Team Now Matters Now had learned from suicidal people working through a crisis. Here are some of these points (underline emphasis is Ms. Whiteside’s):
• Be fully present with me
• Help me hold my pain ( so I feel less alone in my pain)
• I feel helpless, broken and scared
• Discuss with me my diagnosis, as it is in the charts and go thru the DSM criteria with me
• When including family and friends, tell me and let me decide who and how
• Help me empower myself
• Gently examine my paranoid thoughts with me
• First I need empathy, a witness (rather than fixing)
• Know that I am telling you about my suicide ideation/plans because I want to live, I want help and I want to work together

Resources on Suicide – and the way forward

gail louise Learning to Hope, More First Things, On Suicide, On Support, Shame , , , , ,

I’ve written a resource page on Suicide – Look on the menu bar, click Suicide and then Resources on Suicide.  There are links there for anyone who may be at risk for suicide or is a survivor of a suicide attempt.  I hope they can be of help for you.

Especially I want to draw attention to the link for the report The Way Forward: Pathways to hope, recovery and wellness with insights from lived experience (2014 pdf), by the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention’s Suicide Attempt Survivors Task force.   The report is unique in its breath and scope, and unique in that its co-leads were one, a survivor of suicide attempts and mental health advocate, and the other, a psychologist with years of experience working with people in suicidal crisis.

“For far too many years suicide prevention has not engaged the perspectives of those who have lived through suicidal experiences. Because of social stigma and fear, as well as personal shame, a culture of silence prevailed. The Way Forward represents a seminal moment in this field’s history; it is an opportunity to benefit from the lived experience of suicide attempt survivors. Many of its recommendations are derived from evidence-based practices, and several are aspirational. All are grounded in the evidence of recovery and resiliency that is clear in the lives of our Task Force members.”
– from the report.

To Tell or Not To Tell – Discussing self-disclosure

gail louise Real Life; Real Challenges , , , , , , ,

I’ve been reading summaries of research on stigma-busting that lay it on the line. Publishing facts about mental illness, as for example, how treatment helps people live successfully, does not assist in alleviating stigma. Highlighting the stories of people with mental illness who have achieved significant accomplishment, does not curb stigma either. What does work is for ordinary people to get to know ordinary people with mental illness personally! For stigma-busting and awareness and acceptance of mental illness to happen, individuals with mental illness need to be able to safely self-disclose or identify that they have received mental health treatment. Both peoples need to get acquainted and know each other. Nothing breaks down barriers like good communication. Acceptance and trust can be built up by direct experience of the other. But someone has to take the first step. Will it be you? Should it be?

I want to talk about the role of self-disclosure in advocating for people with mental illness. I am hoping to reach out to you especially if you have a mental illness yourself or are related to someone who lives with mental illness. [Continue reading the article under Real Life; Real Challenges]

Parenting, continued….

gail louise MajorDepression, On Support, Parenting, Real Life; Real Challenges , , , , , , , , , ,

Raising children, for me, while taking care of my own mental illness, was a double challenge. I was a parent before major depression, and later Bipolar Disorder II, evolved. My article on parenting (in the menus above under “Real Life, Real Challenges”) was written several years ago but this post gives me the opportunity to add to my observations.
Support should be given to them every step of the way, as needed, per individual. We love our children and want to do the best for them. Support during pregnancy check-ups; assistance at hand, if wanted, when the baby is about to be born; coordinated discharge planning when mother and baby are leaving for home; weekly in-home visits, etc.

With that in mind, here are some things I would do differently if I had the opportunity:

  • I would be less critical of family members. In fact, I think that some parenting classes can be suggested to parents with mental illness ( we’d learn the program and we’d all learn from each other) Stress techniques that would teach how to do positive reinforcement so the parent with depression/mental illness has some tools to use.
  • I would teach my children at an earlier age, in simple terms, that I had an illness and that sometimes I needed the house to be extra quiet and I had to nap because I wasn’t feeling well.
  • I/we would teach that the illness and bad feelings that I had were not the children’s fault, nor anyone’s fault.