Hope

Communities in Action to Prevent Suicide, part II

gail louise Communities Preventing Suicide, Depression during Pregnancy, Learning to Hope, On Suicide, On Support , , , , , ,

Spring in Wisconsin has brought us needed and gently persistent rainfall. Nourishing rain on fertile ground; good food for our thoughts together.

Ursula’s keynote message, “…Zero Suicide and the Engagement of Those with Lived Experience” was a blend of her experiences working with others, and of new directions advocated in “The Way Forward: Pathways to Hope, Recovery, and Wellness with Insights from the Lived Experience, 2014”.

The Way Forward is the most readable, engaging, no-nonsense document that I have ever read. In fact, it is so good and there is so much to learn from it, that I read deeply through the report twice! It is a unique and creative look at suicide prevention. Prepared by the Suicide Attempt Survivors Task Force of the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention, the report’s recommendations are based on and prepared by people who have previously attempted to take their own life, and are now helping others in a crisis situation. Over the next days, I will highlight core values and recommendations from the report as presented in Ursula’s keynote. The first core value is:

Foster hope and help people find meaning and purpose in life

Pervasive hopelessness is a major risk factor for suicidal thinking and behavior. Studies have found that hope and optimism can help guard against suicide. From The Way Forward: “Hope is also linked to self-esteem and self-efficacy, as well as improved problem-solving. The pursuit of meaning can help a person cope with pain and suffering. Similarly, research on reasons for living has demonstrated that meaning and purpose are keys to recovery in many different groups of people who have lived through a suicidal crisis.”

I know this well. In my own suicidal crisis, I was saved by my husband who knew, somehow, that he had to teach me how to hope. (Please see Oh So Real: Pregnancy and Suicidal Depression) I had no hope for me or our unborn child, but I did have hope in our beautiful daughter who was about to turn 5 and start kindergarten in the fall…….when the baby was due. So Jim taught me to focus on specific events or achievements or activities of our daughter. One hope at a time, sometimes very small, got me through those difficult days and hope for her life certainly gave me a reason for living that had meaning and purpose. While the psychic pain of feeling suicidal is or can be overwhelming, meaning and purpose dull the pain…….take pain from the driver’s seat to the back seat.

It is possible to fuel a very small hope.

What to do, “When Mental Illness Enters the Family”

gail louise Chronic/SeriousMental_Illness, Learning to Hope, Loyd Sederer, MD, On Support, These Illnesses , , , , ,

What do we do now, now that mental illness has entered our family?  Dr. Lloyd Sederer’s video “When Mental Illness Enters the Family”  is a Godsend. In this short, 15-minute video, Dr. Sederer addresses family members of people with mental illnesses and gives them clear and doable tips on how to live harmoniously (mostly) and wisely (usually) with the ill family member. His four main steps to cope with the effects of mental illness are right on target.  I can write this because of the lived experience I have had with two members of my family of origin. One person is still living, a sibling,  and  I work to understand better how to provide this person true support and health needs in an integrated manner without sacrificing my health in the process. The recommendations in “When mental illness enters the family” are a good beginning for people starting out on that road – Helping to care for someone with mental illness – as well as a good review for experienced family members.

Dr Sederer is a psychiatrist who is the medical director of the New York State Office of Mental Health –, i.e., Chief psychiatrist for the nation’s largest state mental health organization. He was the  medical director and executive vice president of Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital in Massachusetts. He is also the mental health editor and columnist for The Huffington Post.

I also heartily recommend readers who have a mental health condition and family members of people with a mental health problem explore NAMI’s (National Alliance on Mental Illness) website for all the valuable resources and information that are gathered there.

As I worked and volunteered for NAMI on the state and local level for many years (20) here in Wisconsin, I will post a resource article with thoughts about the NAMI website and programs soon.

On Healing and the Caring Community

gail louise Beyond Recovery to Healing, Chronic/SeriousMental_Illness, homelessness, On Support, Rev Craig Rennebohm , , , , , , , , , , ,

Recently I have been re-searching the book, Souls in the Hands of a Tender God: Stories of the Search for Home and Healing on the Streets for more wisdom.

The book’s author is Rev. Craig Rennebohm, founder of the Mental Health Chaplaincy  in Seattle, WA. This UCC minister speaks of the illness experience and how healing can occur even with serious illness. He places the experience of illness in perspective with many other factors in life. He writes,”…. Our illness self, may predominate at any given moment, but is not absolute and does not determine finally who we are. An illness, no matter how grave, is but a part of our larger identity; our wholeness as persons encompass the moment of illness and far more.”

I first heard him speak at the 2013 NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) annual convention held in Seattle that year. I learned although there is no cure for mental illness but there is recovery for many, that I am experiencing healing “…within a larger frame of personal growth and caring community” as the next stage in my recovery.  Continue Reading more on his profound message.

Stubborn Hope

gail louise Beyond Recovery to Healing, Chronic/SeriousMental_Illness, Learning to Hope, On Support, Stubborn Hope , , , , , , ,

Endurance is a passive quality,
transforms nothing, contests nothing,
can change no state to something better
and is worthy of no high esteem;
and so it seems to me my own
     persistence
deserves, if not contempt, impatience.

Yet somewhere lingers the stubborn hope
thus to endure can be a kind of fight,
preserve some value, assert some faith
and even have a kind of worth.

—Dennis Brutus, former prisoner of conscience, South Africa
From Stubborn Hope, c1978 Heinemann Educational Books, Inc., Portsmouth, NH.

I have two sets of tools to use in managing my illness. One set consists of the familiar: support of friends, family, the members of my support group, my psychiatrist, plus therapy, medication, rest, exercise, use of behavioral and cognitive techniques and calm, quiet settings.

The second set is much more personal. These “tools” are experiences in my life that provide comfort when treatment isn’t effective. I list them on a set of index cards that are always ready at hand. When I’m having trouble with obsessive negative thoughts, despair, and grinding hopelessness I read through the cards individually, with care and consideration. Most cards list a single word:

“Music,” stirring music.

“Humor.” I cannot generate humor, but at some level it reaches me.

“Beauty.” Something beautiful must be near at hand. Usually it is light falling on my favorite glass vase, an illustration, or a textured fabric. My eyes and mind are soothed. Vibrant colors stop ruminating thoughts and bring peace, a dramatic although brief period of relief.

“Favorite books.” They are important as reminders of the admiration I have for the author’s intellect and talent. Virtuosity stimulates my constricted mind.

The last index card, however, cuts to the quick; sometimes there is no comfort. This card reads, “And some times, only endurance.” Years ago I wrote that phrase with a bitter heart. But since then, I have come to agree with Dennis Brutus. Endurance has value and relies on faith, albeit unrecognized by me. It reflects a stubborn hope, for tomorrow and the tomorrows to follow.

Greetings to you and to those you love and support.

On Healing…Learning to Hope despite Chronic Mental Illness

gail louise Chronic/SeriousMental_Illness, Learning to Hope , , , , , ,

Do you or someone you love have a chronic illness? The illness and the very real struggle to stand with the person suffering from the illness can be awfully hard to bear. What’s it like for you? I have written about my chronic illness experience. Go visit the menu option On Healing and scroll down. You’ll find my essay: Learning to Hope Despite Chronic Mental Illness. Learning to hope again and learning to believe that life will again have genuine promise were sweet rewards of my patient examination of what life had been and what life could be. I started with one small but tangible bit of “up” time. The time occurred “before my very eyes” as it were. It was what I most hoped for, so I built nurturing memories on it.  I hope yours will be also.

Please read on………………………….

Offering True Support

gail louise Chronic/SeriousMental_Illness, Giving and Receiving Support, On Support, Parenting , , , , , , , ,

Most of us have found ourselves, at one time or another, wanting to provide a friend or relative with a listening ear… or to be a helpful sounding board; in other words, to provide support. What is present when someone is offering true support?

True support is present when the recipient feels listened to and understood. Some emotional needs have been shared and supported together. Just listening well and empathically may help someone clarify options or sort out thoughts. If you’re unsure if the support you offer is satisfactory and your intention is genuine, I suggest asking the recipient gently: Did she feel really listened to? Did he feel a lifting, even temporarily, of a burden? If yes, you have given someone a great gift!

My experience as a support group facilitator and as a trainer of facilitators, both in giving and in receiving support from people with mental illness through an adult lifetime guide me to these recommendations (Under “On Healing” in the menu bar). I hope you find them thoughtful.