Year: 2021

Reality

gail louise Real Life; Real Challenges

Some people say they are Christian and attend church, but that does not mean they practice the teachings of Christ.

Some people say they are family men, but if their super bowl team does not win, they bash their wives, partners, and/or children after the game.

Some people say “I’m just joking”, but the jokes are at the other person’s expense. Witnesses are silent.

Some people say, I love you, or sign their cards, Love …. But their love is conditional. Their love has terms, expectations, and demands.

Some people say they love their spouse/partner then criticize what the person wears in clothes, the color of their hair, and what they say and do. In front of others. Sometimes in front of others of the same family. Witnesses are silent.

Some people say they gave a lot to others. They wanted, expected, and sought gratitude. And object loudly when they do not get the gratitude they wanted, expected and sought.


Reality check.

Thank you kindly,
Gail Louise

I See Clearly Now

gail louise Real Life; Real Challenges

I see clearly now. I understand clearly now.

Sexual assault is the gift that keeps on giving.

It’s all about power. I have power, you don’t.

And power concedes nothing.

Sexual abuse, assault and harassment are acts of conquest, subjugation and violence.

Sexual abuse, assault and harassment are crimes, regardless of the law and the verdict.

When I reported the crime to my parents, they had a meeting with the criminal.

An apology was rendered to my parents. Never to me. 

When I spoke of the crime to two men, I was greeted with silence. One man was a professional helper. The other man was a loved one. Not even a glance my way.

Yes, they heard me, but they choose not to acknowledge what I said to them. They gave me no sympathy. There was no sharing of the raw hurt, humiliation, and outrage I felt.

My outrage grew.

Maya Angelou said, people will not remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel. 

I give financial support to shelters for abused people and organizations working to end abuse, incest, sex trafficking and other forms of sexual violence.  Please join me.

Thank you kindly,
Gail Louise

Starting Anew, Here and Now

gail louise On Support

Hello!

It is nice to be with you.

It is nice to be back writing and advocating for people with mental illness and mental health challenges!

After a life of major depression and an anxiety disorder I am very well indeed.

I write to lend a hand to those needing a helping hand and to those who are reaching out with a hand.

I also want people to do more than develop empathy. Empathy is passive. It lets people off the hook.

What is necessary is taking action to help others.

After 20 years of teaching families, loved ones and individuals with mental illnesses, these are the 2 nuggets people like you have told me were the most helpful in reaching out to others:

    ~~~ In Greeting, say,  “It is nice to see you!”
            Do Not ask, “How are you!!!”

Asking a question can put people in an uncomfortable position. They may not know what to say, or do not know themselves how they are … Many times, by conventional standards, they may not be successful, accomplished, have relationships that matter, and so on.

Sometimes, and I have experienced this myself, even with relatives, the question “How are you?” may mean, hint, hint: “Have you stopped smoking yet…Have you lost weight yet…Do you have a job yet?”

    ~~~Listen actively.

Your presence and loving concern can mean the world … just by being there. Usually the person you are listening to is not asking you or expecting you to solve their problems. Advice can be off putting. Wait to be asked for advice and do not yourself be put off if advice is not asked.

Follow up is absolutely essential. If you do not follow up in a significant way, your gesture will be just that, a gesture.

Flowers or a casserole or a handwritten note are all good ways to go.

Thank you kindly,
Gail Louise